“She was only with us for 5 years but she leaves us with a lifetime of inspiration.”
It would mean the world to us if you would comment here with any personal memories that you have of Sophie, about your experiences with her, about the impression she left. It can be about her smile, her energy, her clothing, her kindness, her determination.
You might have a memory that we don’t have or remind us of a memory that has faded.
No story is too small.
“The thing about Sophie, if there was a party going on, Sophie just thought it was her party.”
Please add your memory in the comments below.
May Chava Shalva Gavriella bas Dovid Yitzchok Haleivi’s memory be for a blessing.
For those of you who haven’t met Sophie, below is her aunt’s memory contribution: because everyone deserves to have a little Sophie in their lives.
“I will not speak about Sophie in past tense.
I refuse.
Because past tense just doesn’t suit her.
Because Sophie
has never been
anything close to a passive person,
This day,
is not about supporting
The Spangenthals and the Greenblums in
Our loss.
In reality,
Each and every one of us
is in deep mourning.
We are all immersed
in this devastating pain.
Because Sophie has always been known
As being Light Incarnate.
The corner of the world that held her
Always shone a little more brightly than the rest
Her flavor of light was never a consuming fire,
Or a blazing sun.
Her light has always been
Strong in its softness
It has always been a
steadfast, golden hour glow.
Sophie never
Simply ‘lived’ life
or went through the motions.
Sophie ‘took charge’ of life.
Her every day was pursued
with the utmost intention.
She decisively chose exactly what she wanted
And then went for it.
It was clear that most of the time,
Sophie wanted Pizza.
So many of us are so busy
Chasing the dream,
Chasing the next big thing.
But Sophie?
She was good with Pizza.
She knew that seizing the glory
that is life meant
Eating pizza whenever she wanted.
All of you here?
You probably think that
you know the days of the week.
but you’ve been misinformed.
Because according to Sophie
The days of the week flow from:
Sunday to
Monday to
Tuesday to
Pizzaday
Time centered around Pizza Day.
There are 4 Pizza Days a month.
One of Sophie’s special spaces is Camp Simcha by Chai Lifeline.
Cancer or no,
She was determined
to make it to camp.
And we all know that once Sophie is determined to do something
She does it.
On one of the last days of camp,
She lost her first tooth.
While eating Pizza.
Yesterday was not a Wednesday.
It was Pizza Day.
Sophie wasn’t just another kid.
Not that any kid,
is like any other kid but
Sophie was objectively
unique.
Her eyes saw the world
In the vibrant way
The world was meant to be seen.
When asked her favorite color, Sophie knew that
She did not have to choose between blue and pink,
No. Sophie decided that
Her favorite color was rainbow.
Because she saw the world in Pink and purple and green and red and blue and white.
She painted her nails (and everyone else’s) in Pink and purple and green and red and blue and white.
And she found it all beautiful. All at once.
And she shared those colors
with all of us.
Sophie was all in.
When Sophie danced.
She threw her entire being
Into each movement.
When she sang,
She poured herself into each song, even if it was a little off tune
When Sophie wanted to ensure
that she had your full attention,
she would
Do this thing where she would
Place her left hand on your left cheek and
Her right hand on your right cheek and
Turn your face towards her
As she spoke.
Because she was all in.
She both gave
and demanded
That eye contact.
And that fullness of being.
And her smile in photos
Were never due to
A photographer telling her to smile
That radiant smile was due to her entire being,
being joy
And that joy
naturally spilled over into
her eyes, her mouth, her face.
People always said
that she was a fighter.
But a more accurate description
would be to say that
She was a kid
who lived in a space
Above the fight.
She deliberately chose Pizza.
She chose magic.
She chose rainbows.
She chose eye contact.
Sophie will always be here.
She will be in memories of our collective past,
She will continue inspiring our individual futures.
She will be here in every Pizza day
In every one of her favorite colors
She will be present in
the manner in which we
carry ourselves
through every single moment.
Every time we see the extraordinary
in the routine,
Sophie will be there.
Sophie was, is, and will forever be. Present tense.”
Donations in Sophie’s memory can be made to her favorite place: Camp Simcha, at https://chailifeline.rallybound.org/LoveforSophie
My daughter Shoshana was with Sophie in school in Leah sokoloff. She started midyear and her and Sophie quickly became friends. She absolutely adored her and always spoke about “soapy”. Every time I hear the name Sophie I always think “ soapy”.
I started following you when you did an interesting piece on a trip you went to years ago . Not only were you so cool but your neshama was so special as you were so deeply concerned in helping the local people of the village you were in. I rememebr telling my daughter about you and told her she would love you both as a friend and a travel companion.
The day you posted about Sophie I immediately added her to my tehillim list !!!! I read up on her progress , joined her group , and prayed for her complete refuah as I now felt I knew her well. (Social media can do that)
One day I saw she needed platelets and I wished I could have gone to NY to donate. I knew I couldn’t so I shared the request with my sister in NY . She was a busy mom of 2 working a full time job in Manhattan and I honestly wasn’t sure how she would respond to me. She fell in love with Sophie right away and long story short she was a match ! I remember the day she took off from work to donate we were so excited as we prayed this little act of kindness would help her get well! I was so proud of my sister and I believe she went a 2nd time as well. She was so happy to help our Sophie ! As Sophie now had a special place in both of our hearts !
We davened , we asked , we begged and Hashem had different plans .We took the news hard ! I want to thank you for sharing Sophie with us her special neshama will not be forgotten ! המקום מנחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים
I remember going to tot Shabbat and seeing Sophie wearing such stylish headbands. Since then, whenever I saw her she was always dressed up and looking radiant. Something deep inside her shined through so brightly!
After Sophie’s first victory over cancer, you sponsored a kiddush in her honor. “The thing about Sophie, if there was a party going on, Sophie just thought it was her party.” Well this one was her party and she made sure we all knew. David and some of the men started dancing and there was Sophie, making her way to the middle of HER circle. She saved her heart out with the classic Sophie smile that lit up the room. There wasn’t a dry eye as we celebrated Sophie together. Sophie was and will always be such a strong unifying force among her Fair Lawn family.
One time I was sitting with Sophie in class. It was just me and Sophie.It was right before she was going to go in for her scans in February.She was telling me how its annoying to be in the hospital. At that time I would have given her the moon if it would have helped her so I asked her”Sophie what’s the one thing you miss the most when you are in hospital?” And I was thinking I’m asking this as if she didn’t have the most amazing parents and the most amazing support system …. But maybe, just maybe I could give Sophie something to help her…. But like sophie always does she took my breath away when she said” I miss my friends”. That was sophie! Her life revolved around friends, Joy and pizza. I miss her every day! On her last day of school she gave out little pink heart stickers to a select few people. I was honored to get one. It stayed on my hand all weekend even after I showered.i have the sticker on my dresser next to my bed but it is fading so i now wear a pink gold heart bracelet that says love for Sophie. Every time I see it, im reminded to smile bigger, to appreciate my friends and of course to eat pizza!
Sophie was the epitome of “dance like no one is watching”. One of the first times I met Sophie, I was in full Elsa costume at Sloan Kettering visiting a little girl in the waiting room. Children were teetering in and out of the rooms to get their scheduled chemo, but a group of a little under a dozen children were sitting around with me and my Anna talking about all things Frozen. A little girl asked me to sing “Let it go” and we did — within 20 seconds of doing so Sophie has taken center stage! She was belting out that song to the point where a group of nurses, doctors, and families stopped in their tracks. She hit every note fearlessly, giggling and beaming ear to ear until the final note! I was in complete awe of her little spirit — I have sung that song with so many kids and I never heard any of them sing the way Sophie did. When she finished the song, a round of applause sprung out for her from the audience she had stopped in their tracks. That is Sophie; complete magnetism where you felt like you had both known her and wanted to be just like her your whole life. She is confident, chasing laughter and fun, and completely fearless. This is one of my first memories of Sophie and will forever be how she is remembered. I will carry her spirit with me and with each step I take, hope to be just a fraction of how brave and spirited she is.
I met Sophie only through the computer screen, but her radiant smile burst forth so much tangible energy, that I always felt as if I was actually meeting her in person. She wore a smile in every picture I saw, and the stories I’d read about how quickly she came back from surgery to eat and play, were inspiring, and telling of what a strong little person she was. Sophie touched so many souls that she never even met. She brought joy and hope to people with her strength, and her memory will forever continue on. She will always be in our hearts and thoughts ❤️
I wasn’t lucky enough to know Sophie well, but I was privileged to work in Camp Simcha for the past two summers. I had a minor job, with not much interaction with Sophie. But everyone knew Sophie. Her first summer there I remember her going around telling everyone that as soon as all her hair falls out she’s going to put stick on tattoos all over her head. I remember that day and how adorable she looked, smiling from ear to ear. I remember thinking about what a huge lesson that was. To literally dance in the rain. To find the positive even when surrounded by so much pain.
I remember how she used to treat a more reserved camper, bringing her food from canteen to try and cheer her up. She wouldn’t be let down by the girls shy nature, she only saw good.
I don’t think it is possible for me to think about Sophie without seeing her huge smile. I see her dancing around canteen with her adorable tattoos always caring about another person.
Although I wasn’t privileged to really get to know Sophie, I’m so so lucky for the impact she’s made on my life. She taught me lessons that no teacher or book could’ve taught me.
Sophie, when I met you, you just took my breath away. There was just something about you. I can’t explain it but you could just feel it when you were in your presence. Maybe it was the sparkle in the back of your eyes. It was just this indescribable feeling that whenever someone would meet you, their heart would just jump out of their chest. You had that kind of effect on people. When I met you I was just taken by you. By your cute face and shy smile and adorable voice. You were the cutest thing I had ever seen. You were happy and fun and smiley. You were everything a little girl is supposed to be. You captured my heart and the heart of so many others. You have brought joy and love into so many peoples lives. The world needs more Sophie’s like you. To the sweetest girl with the most beautiful soul and the most caring heart, Sophie you will be missed, and you will be remembered. Always and forever❤️
So many memories of bright shining Sophie. Yet what sticks in my head her smile and sass! I always loved looking a pictures from Camp Shimcha – her pure joy.
All my love!
Sophie and I bonded over camp. I remember how lucky I felt when I was assigned to be Sophie’s rotator counselor . I saw her with her super Sophie cape on her super dad’s shoulders next to her super mom on arrivals days and knew I wanted to get to know that smiling four year old. There was just something special about her that everyone saw.
Sophie and I shared many memories together at camp. One was when we decided to decorate a wheel chair that wasn’t so needed but was wanted. Sophie made the coolest wheel chair with her favorite colors , pink , blue and green. It had to be 100% matching with her bestie, Libby.
One day , Sophie got a doctor costume and she played doctor with Libby. She was very serious. She sterilized my arm and gave mer her blanky and doll so I wouldn’t be scared. She told me “it’s ok “ when she gave me the pretend shot and gave a bandaid. She was the most caring girl I’ve ever met.
Another day we have a birthday party for her doll who’s birthday was like every day. We made signs and a cake and sang happy birthday to Coby who literally turns 1 every day. Coby was like another camper , she got face paint and went to the activities. She napped and even bathed. Sophie just had this fun cute and magical personality that was contagious.
Sophie was very insistsnt and stubborn on what she ate So I spent a lot of time waiting with her for the exact crispy chicken nuggets, hot (by not too hot ) pizza slices (whether it was breakfast lunch or dinner ) and her favorite breakfast – oatmeal and Cheerios(which happens to be a great combo ). She started to call Wednesdays “pizza day “.
I was also with Sophie the first time she saw fireworks. Her face literally lit up. We have it on video if you want proof or just to see her cute face. It was. A great end to camp.
After camp I visited Sophie in the hospital the next day. She was still so happy from camp. I had to come in with a mask and gown. It didn’t faze her. We drew pictures for her gaga and she requested for pizza and cookies.
Over the course of the year I had a lot of more memories of her even though I was in israel. She called me almost every day while eating breakfast with JJ (oatmeal and Cheerios ). She was either getting ready for school or for the hospital. Either way she was cheery and talkative. When it was school she was super excited and had no complaints about going (unlike the rest of us ). She loved going. She didn’t pass on the opportunity to go ever. She was very helpful and sweet when JJ cried because he is a toddler so he cried a lot. She would always hug him and tell him it’s ok. Those calls made my day and I never ever got bored of hem. How could I ?
On the occasion that I couldn’t answer because of the time difference she would leave me these adorable messages saying “hi. Call me back” or “talk to you soon. Call me later “, “miss you. Love you “. I saved all of them. I did the same if she didn’t answer me. My favorite were the Friday pre Shabbat calls and the post Shabbat calls. She always asked me how was Shabbat and if I played. When Sophie got sicker we couldn’t talk as much but she did send me messages even if it was harder for her and I continues to send her.
Finally , when I was home for pessach I was fortunate to have seen her a few times . I got to chill with her on the couch , watching Sophia The First and the camp videos and the Disney trip videos. When watching the videos, she cheered up and would talk about things she remembered in camp. She talked about Libby and Tova and a lot of the staff. She had only positive things to say and remember. She remembered a lot. Her face would light up when she saw the helicopter she went on because she wasn’t scared at all. Also every time she saw Elsa she would go on and on about how she stayed with Elsa at Disney for hours and hours , which i was told was exactly what happened. Sometimes Sophie did my nails and gave me tattoos. She was a pro. She was literally covered head to toes with tattoos. She would place the towel on my arm count to 30 and it always worked. We went on walks and went to the ice cream place even if she didn’t end up eating the ice cream. She was also dressed up in something. Never a dull outfit. My day was always better because of her. I always felt lucky to share time with Sophie. It was such a gift.
After I came home from the year , before camp I got to see her a few times again. She was really excited for camp. I couldn’t believe she was coming. She was really sick but she didn’t let fear stop her. As you know , when she is determined to do something she does it.
This past summer I got to be with Sophie again. I got to see how special Sophie was through the eyes of my camper, Libby. Last year I loved Sophie and this summer I loved her in a new way. I was blown away by the strength in Libby and Sophie’s friendship and by their strength in general . They both were amazing friends with each other and I saw how Sophie really connected to Libby and vice verse. Libby held Sophie’s hand while taking medicine and Libby always jumped at the opportunity to be there for Sophie. It was incredibly special. We all adored Sophie. The whole camp did. When she smiled everyone was happy. She baked cookies and cake all the time. She didn’t really eat them but it wasn’t an issue since the rest of us did , especially Libby. The whole hunk was filled with sparkles and sand art , Chips and Crispix with frozen songs playing 24/7 from the videos of camp she watched on repeat. When we were lucky she sang along to “let it go” or “baby shark “. However , She wasn’t in the bunk for most of the time. She wanted to “go out and do something. “I remember how excited she was when she lost her tooth , while eating pizza (obviously). She showed every single person she saw and was smiling and was just happy. She believed in magic and the tooth fairy. She also believed that she had magic which she mostly likely did.
She went on walks all day and bounced between the canteen and the castle where she baked. Thanks to Tova she was able to do everything she wanted. Sophie was very smart. If she wanted to be pushed in the stroller by a specific Person , there was no fooling her. I remember how she would tell the doctors she didn’t like as much to leave as she pointed to the door. She would say “I’m ok. Leave “ then she would add “please”. It may sound rude but it was actually just cute and no one had hard feelings. Another memory I have is when one night Tova heard Sophie awake in the middle of the night. Tova came back saying what happens : Sophie was on the floor with ketchup chips and was calling for Tova to open the chips up. She said she wasn’t strong enough to open them up but somehow she was able to make her way to the floor , open up the cabinet to get the specific chips she wanted but she just couldn’t open the bag. She fell asleep while eating ketchup chips. It was hilarious.
Everyone in the bunk felt so lucky to be part of her summer and it was an honor to help her have he best time she could possibly have.
– [ ] My last memories of her was the last day of camp when she went home. She was so excited to see her parents. She didn’t even call them once but she still was so excited. She went so fast into their arms after insisting to wait by The front gate in the cold weather. She showed her parents her missing tooth and showed her parents all the cookies she baked and decorated in the bunk. She ended up saving them for the kids coming to camp. Someone tried eating them and she yelled at her because as she sad “they aren’t meant for you. They are meant for the kids”. Too cute. . She also had a ton of snacks, sand art and projects she made for her family to bring home. I got to be there in the car ride home. Her parents made her a book of pictures from camp and she was explaining what happened , and proud to tell her parents all about camp. I was able to have an insight on what camp did for her. I am so thankful for the time I had with her
I remember Sophie as a little baby when she started at my daycare. She was always smiley and caught everyone’s eye. She was adorable and stylish and her parents were always so sweet.
I remember Sophie coming to Shul before her diagnosis, coming to Tot Shabbat and walked around like she owned the place! She danced and was so engaged the whole time. More recently maybe a year and a half ago we had the privilege of having the Spangenthal’s for a Shabbas meal. As much as my son wanted to play with Sophie, she only had eyes for her dad at that meal. Their bond was so special to see. My heart is breaking for all of you now. So thankful I got a chance to witness how Sophie truly loved life.
I’ve been thinking and thinking of moments with Sophie over the last few years. From charming a 19 year old rugby player into buying her pink slippers, trying to sneak arm hugs and the alligator light on her finger. Let’s face it/ she didn’t want to be inpatient -she didn’t feel good. But sometimes you wouldn’t know it. Hours spent in the rec room with more energy than any of the healthy adults around her. The numerous times I walked by the M9 playroom and saw Sophie sitting doing crafts “aren’t you day 1 post op?!?!” So confused. And of course Picu keeping her with them until discharge because geez we all just wanted a little more of Sophie. But what stands out more to me is the incredible amount of love from family and community that enveloped every moment and every hospital stay. When I told you my nephew had NF Jenny you jumped right into work mode to make sure I found the best doctors. You never thought of yourselves. Only Sophie and JJ and amazingly fed me through every stay. I will remember the deep deep love you all have. I will miss her dearly and all of you who felt like friends.
I didnt know Sophie well. Almost didnt know her at all even though we were neighbors. But i do know that she was cheerful and sunny and had the energy about her unlike any other child i know. We met for the first time when my dog ran out of the house and ran into David, Jenny and Sophie. Any other child would have been scared. After all back then my dog was twice the size of Sophie. But not her. She smiled and went right ahead to hug the dog. She was and always Will be fearless. And i will always remember her with the widest and most fearless smile. The smile that lit a street.
I remember one time in groups, JJ started to cry and Sophie hugged him. Even though she might not have been feeling well, she cared about making sure that her brother was okay. I was so impressed with her kindness.
I have so many treasured memories of my wonderful Sophie. Sophie was not just an amazing kid — she was one of the most remarkable people I have ever had the honor and privilege to know. We all know that Sophie was kind, determined, spunky, funny, and countless other wonderful qualities. She was wise beyond her years. But Sophie had an imagination that I have never seen in another person. On our play dates that I was lucky to have with Sophie, we played hours of grocery store in her basement. I was the store clerk and she always assumed the persona of Dina. No matter how many times we played this game she would always be Dina and she would boss me around until I gave her exactly what she wanted. She could play this game for hours. Sophie allowed me to enter her world of pretend and allowed me to be a total goofball. I knew that whenever I was with Sophie, the goofier I got the more she would let her imagination go. Whether it was on a pretend ride to school setting up chairs with her stuffed animals in her living room (and because Sophie went to two schools we always had to have her pretend students make stop overs at several schools) or just singing silly songs we made up, Sophie made our world together magical. We played while she nebulized or with her vest. It didn’t matter what medical paraphernalia she had on, Sophie had the ability to forget about the outside world and brought me into her world of wonder and amazement. I will always treasure my many times spent with Sophie and hold them close to my heart. And every day I will go shopping in my pantry with my little Dina
I became aware of who Sophie is through one of her teachers, Miriam Zughaft, who also taught at my school in Manhattan. I signed up to receive email notifications on her progress because, the first time I looked at a picture of Sophie, I fell in love with her. She radiates light and joy in her smile; that smile emanates from her entire being. While I never got to meet Sophie in person, I am grateful to have her influence in my life, reminding me to choose joy and smile with my entire being. Thank you, Sophie, for teaching those lessons. We all need to hear them.
I have a lovely memory of going with you, and your mom, to a Mommy and Me Gymboree class when Sophie was beginning to walk. I also have a wonderful picture of Sophie sitting on the rainbow parachute which I will send to you. I will always cherish the memories I have of being at your mom’s house Shabbat afternoons, playing with Sophie while she took my blood pressure with her toy doctor’s kit, reading to her, when she let me, often she only wanted Gaga to read to her, and playing with the mosaic kit, matching shapes and colors.
Sophie was a beautiful, special little girl that I will never forget.
Chava Shalva Gavriela bat Shana Aliza a name I will never forget. I started to follow your journey when my children moved into Fairlawn. I waited for updates and at times commented you didn’t know me but I knew you. I remember seeing you one Simchas Torah running around with a bow around your head I just wanted to hug you and tell you how amazing you are. I said your name many times and just a month ago at the kotel -you were in my heart and on my mind. Hashem used you Sophie to make me a better person and everything I do has new meaning-I’m trying to see the world thru your rainbow. I received the email of your passing and I still cannot delete it-I’m just not ready. I know you will watch over all of us especially your special family. Your life will be a blessing.
I remember when Sophie was born. She was the first grandchild born to a close friend of mine and I was so excited. I remember coming to see her and she was beautiful. There were so many Shabosses when I got to spend time with Sophie and play with her or just watch her play. Sophie was always busy. She had a wonderful imagination and was always directing how the play time should unfold. I also treasure the memories of her coming over the fence to play at our house. Sometimes she would come alone and other times with JJ or Caleb. She was a little intimidated by Wally who is a big dog, but she would take Reggie’s leash and walk him around the backyard. She would play with some of the toys in our basement and have a snack (cookies, banana bread..) I will always remember Sophie’s wonderful smile, her creativity and her determination!
Though I never had the chance to know Sophie well in person, I got to know her better through the computer. I met Sophie when we first moved into Fair Lawn and David & Jenny very graciously welcomed my family into their home. Sophie was the adorable 2 year old running around the room. When I would go to her shul every so often, I would see her from a distance sitting with her friends and eating at the kiddush. To me it was a special treat to Sophie when I happened to go to her shul since I didn’t regularly attend. Whenever I saw her, she had a smile on her face, but even more so what I noticed is that her parents were constantly smiling.
Sophie was a beacon – she shone brighter than any other light and immediately brought smiles to the faces of those around her. One of my favorite memories is one of her visits to the office where she boldly sang the Baby Shark song. She transformed from a shy young girl to a rockstar and grabbed the attention of everyone within range. The world is a better place because of her (much too short) time with us.
i am andrew cohn’s mother in law.
I miss davening for chava shalva gabriella bat shani aliza.when i get to the place where i mentioned her name , for 2 years, i feel an enormous void. A blank space. I pause and feel her absence in that way. I can only imagine how you feel. may hashem comfort you and grant you only bracha from now on.
My memory of Sophie is a simple one but one that always stuck with me. It was Purim and I went to shul for megilah reading. David was dressed up as Peter Pan and he was holding Sophie in his arms. Sophie’s arms were wrapped tightly around her fathers neck. She had the sweetest look in her eyes as she look up at ger Dad, like she was the luckiest girl in the room. I remember thinking to myself- what a great picture.
When we first moved to Fair lawn our son started going to the youth groups at Shomrei Torah. He met Sophie there, and although they never had a playdate, they had fun running around together after shul and our son would always talk about Sophie. She stood out in my mind as I thought of her sweet and vibrant smile. Another memory I will never forget is that on Yom Kippur, as most kids were running the halls or making noise in shul, I noticed a little girl sitting quietly and nicely with her mother, reading books. That special little girl was Sophie. I was so amazed and inspired that she was sitting so nicely and letting her mother davven. Our family has davvened for Sophie, made challah for Sophie, and said “Asher Yatzar” as a zchut for Sophie. We feel a tremendous loss and will continue to think of and davven for the entire family.
One shabbos morning in shul, I was hanging out in the youth groups since Adam wouldn’t stay there without me. Sophie was there too, and was having a great time playing. At some point, she started to look uncomfortable, in a very specific way. I asked Sophie if she needed to use the bathroom and she responded yes, and looked so grateful. The group leaders were busy leading activities, so I took her next door to the bathroom. You guys told me that the following week, Sophie said something like, “Don’t worry, if I need to go to the bathroom in groups I’ll just ask Adam’s mom to take me!!” I thought that was so sweet, and I felt really honored that Sophie would trust and rely on me to help her meet this important need!
(Sorry to be posting about bathroom stuff, but it’s a really special memory I have of Sophie.)
I never met any of you except via your blogs, but Sophie has been in my thoughts and prayers for years, part of our challa baking list and prayer group. I am so so sorry for your loss, I attended a conference for religious Jewish women this week (actually I saw the mail telling of Sophie’s passing during this conference), I was at a lecture by Rabbi Ben Yishai, the father of Ruth Fogel who was murdered along with her husband and several of her children in their home eight years ago.
He spoke about dealing with loss. He repeated a conversation that he had with the father of one of the boys from Elazar who was killed in a car accident last week. He said two things that I hope may bring you a drop of comfort; he said that life is a process of separation; your children are not always with you. From now on, Sophie will always be with you, never apart. He also spoke about תחיית המתים, that the concept is the last of the Rambam’s 13 tennets of faith and that it is such a prominent part of the שמונה עשרה. He said that logically it should say “מחייה וממית: but yet the order is reversed; the phrase is ממית ומחייה. God takes away and He is the one to give us the strength to return to life from our pain and our loss.
May God strengthen you, comfort you and give you the ability to recall all the moments of joy with great clarity and detail, and let all the horror and pain fade into distant memories .
I wish I could have done more for Sophie and her family,’ my next door neighbors. My first memory of Sophie is seeing her play so nicely with her little friends when we were over for Shabbat lunch, before she got sick. After her diagnosis I remember seeing Sophie in the park near our house playing and looking happy with her grandmother (who was my middle son’s nursery teacher years ago:)) I also remember seeing her in the children’s section of the fair lawn library when I brought my youngest there. I was amazed by her spirit— despite everything she was a spirited shining girl who was so much a part of our Fair Lawn community and beyond— I recently spent Shabbat in Berkeley and the Chabad rebbetzin had heard of Sophie through a connection with Sophie’s aunt. For the past two years our community prayed for her, baked challah in her honor— We were brought together and encouraged to perform more mitzvot because of Sophie. May her family be comforted amongst the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem and may Sophie’s memory be for a blessing. תהא נפשה צרורה בצרור החיים— May Sophie’s soul be bound up in the Bond of life.
Friendship like no other
When friends become family
Friends are usually defined as a person with whom you have love and affection for that are not family.
But in this case friends have become family.
Sophe Sophe and Libs met on common ground. They were both fighting for their lives at Sloan memorial Hsptl.
Arriving only 2 weeks apart on the 9th Floor, the connection was instantaneous Sophe at the time was 3 Libs 5.
They played together in this parallel playground chatting away like two old ladies who have the world to discuss whist painting each other’s nails the color of the Rainbow.
To be witness was a Blessing , they had the ability to be there for one another, Sophie bought out the best in Libby.
Kids at this young age are still often selfish and wanting from others. But Sophe and libs had this innate ability to know what the other needed and ensue fulfilling those needs.
When one was sad the other would offer words of comfort, when They were scared of hospital treatments they held one another’s hand whilst talking through that it didn’t hurt for long. When one of us as parents couldn’t calm them in moments of hysteria, Libby and Sophe could soothe one another and often would seek the other for assistance.
They guarded one another in times of anguish, while making sure to give the other space when they sensed the need.
They got into cheeky trouble together, hiding from the nurses and counselors. They caused excitement wherever they went astounding those lucky enough to be privy to such an exceptional friendship.
Emotions flowed freely between them, they were secure in the knowledge their friendship didn’t rely on always being in the best mood it is and always will be a friendship of unconditional love.
A love that has no boundaries, no expectations, no end and this is exactly what these two have.
Sophie gave Libby something that most of us may never see in our lifetime and managed to do it in only 2.5years.
Sophie gave Libby confidence and security, a lifetime of Love, devotion and the gift of true friendship.
Sophie We will be forever grateful for the friendship you have Libby, And you have left behind more family than you know. X
Dear Sophie,
My garden in heaven is growing
Yet another beautiful flower has flown
You’ve flown up to that garden
That takes away the most precious
The most beautiful
The strongest
The best
Those flowers are taken away from us
And they’re planted up there
I know
That you were greeted by angels
And dancing alongside the angels
Were your fellow sisters
And brothers
That were too good for this world
But Sophie
We miss you down here
Your sweet smile
Your energy
Your passion
Sophie we miss it
And we need it
You are my biggest example
Of turning lemons into lemonade
Your shining smile
Even through your darkest hours of pain
The chiming of your sweet laugh
Your fun
Even when it hurt
Is my source of inspiration
Sophie I’ll carry on your smile
In honor of you
In honor of your memory
In honor of the sweet smiling girl
I miss you Sophie
Sophie was a beautiful girl whose curiosity always made me smile. When she would go on walks or be pushed around in her stroller, she never failed to stop by my house and admire the pinwheels and laugh at the duck pinwheel I have in my yard. It was always a pleasure to see her smile and to see her read books at the library. Sophie is a wonderful girl who will always be in my heart and she will be missed ❤️
Although I never had the honor of meeting Sophie she definitely made a dent in my heart. Everytime I saw a post of her beautiful and joyful smile I couldn’t help but think happy thoughts and smile too. Thank you for making my day a little brighter through your smile. It will be missed ♥️
Jenny, I am so, so sorry to hear this. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I remember when you brought Sophie into the Coach office – her smile was infectious, she was such a happy baby. It made me smile myself. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.
Although I only saw Sophie a few times at shul here in Charlotte, she really made an impression on me as having such a presence of determination and focus. She was focused on her job as a kid- to make the most of the shul experience, complete with catching up with the local friends and relatives! I remember her kind of marching through the hallway, giving out orders to her friends and father in a matter of fact way about things like which area of the building to be in, for how long, and what they would be doing there! And everyone dutifully marched behind/alongside her! When it was time for kiddie Kiddush she came in hesitantly, on the quiet side (I guess she wasn’t a total adult!), but when Daddy came to check in on her after a few minutes, she was already focused on taking it all in and kind of waved him away, with an “I’ve got this” kind of smile. What really intrigued and impressed me was the unassuming commitment that David and Jenny seemed to have, to making Sophie’s life full of positive, quality, meaningful experiences with the family and relatives.
Baruch dayan haemes. May you be comforted.
Dear Sophie’s parents
You don’t know me and I don’t even know you. The one thing I do know is that you daughter Sophie was always smiling and happy. The first time I saw Sophie was at the airport to go on the ohr meir trip. As soon as I saw Sophie she had won me over. Throughout the whole trip I looked to see Sophie in pictures. Seeing her photos just made me smile. The second time I saw Sophie was by the Chai lifeline shabbton. As soon as I saw her there I was very excited. Although I never spoke to you or Sophie seeing Sophie just made me smile. The last time I saw Sophie in real life was on Passover at Keansburg. Although she did not look too well she was still smiling as she went on each ride. I saw Sophie in the camp simcha pictures on the first day. Although she was unwell her famous smile was still on her face. I just recently found out about her passing and I still think of her every day and I daven for children who have cancer like she did.
beautiful and heartfelt memories and wishes by all
Hard to express-yet “her Legacy & Neshama will live on in Gan Eden
Whether one met her in person or not this website hopefully gives us all the strength to carry on as she so exemplified
T’hai Zichra Baruch
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